Friday, April 23, 2010

Chimera

A sigh...

A momentary breathe of relief...

An attempt to bare thoughts and block revolting epiphanies...

With no other way to channel weariness.


A blank stare...

Focused at nothing...

Directed at a precipice so somber...

An aching core bereft of life.


Feeble movements...

Every fraction so arduous...

Punctuated by realizations...

That I was the pawn in this trance that seemed so real.

Monday, February 1, 2010

Breaking the Monotony



Lassitude. Noun. Defined as the weariness of body or mind from strain, lack of energy and a condition of indolent indifference.

As I lay in bed in sleepy languor, I can see the sun glimpsing through the corners of my window... slowly permeating the room with phosphorescent promises. For the last couple of years or so it seems, I anatomically acknowledge this – I open my eyes mechanically and go about daily routines without much to hope for. It had been my idiosyncratic existence that reciprocates and acts as my propellant. My actions were never based on hopes and dreams but on trepidations and an endless list of decorous obligations.

Fear had been my greatest adversary and I had to give up emblazoned dreams to exist where it's safe – my black and white world where docility and obedience were expected.

I have been waking up in a foreign land for the longest time now, where everything is now familiar yet perplexing. The only difference would be the manifestation of new choices. The realization that breaking free from the manacles that had me bound would entirely be up to me.

It is still that indistinguishable daybreak that I respond to. The same twilight that has me closing my eyes and visualizing what appears to be impossible yet eugenically feasible. The same eventide that has me conceiving visions of the man I never thought I would be with but whose hands now hold my very core.

I traded everything that is black and white for something erubescent. I traded consternation for love. I turned my back on what everyone familiar saw as scrupulously acceptable to be with my inamorato. My beloved.

'Tis the end of a monotonous cycle that I have fondly called my life for the longest time. I am loved. I am in love. My mornings are now intertwined with a pleasantly curious panorama – with him and me and the rest of our lives together smack in the middle of it all.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

My Beautiful...



Four years have passed before I took this chance... a leap of faith. Four long years of what if's and what could have been's. It may have been fate or just random coincidence but here I am... my life finally intertwined with yours.

All I needed to do was close my eyes and picture you and me... then I start realizing that there is virtually nothing to be afraid of. My wounded heart feels safe with you and everything that were so unclear during those cold lonely nights are now unveiled.

I am placing my heart in the palm of your hands... where I know it will be safe.